Failure has now replaced mistake.


 The very redefinition of the importance of the journey and the process inherent in that journey has made making a mistake a trigger point for a snap neurological reaction instead of a time for reflection and growth to be able to learn, assimilate, and grow from internal, not external forces or mistakes.


 “OH MY GOSH, WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO THINK OF ME” or “SCREW EM” now seems to the norm for a reaction instead of self reflection.


Lash out seems to be more common for a response if you are the mistake maker or the person watching the mistake happen. Rarely do you see a person laugh at their mistake. That would lead to more piling on so we have developed a defense mechanism.


True long term change comes from within as you analyze and make a decision on your future behavior.


If we got everything right we would be at a disadvantage to learn and grow. Immediacy and the corresponding high is looked at as a positive instead of the back lash reaction associated with thinking instantaneously (reacting), and I use that word loosely, that has long term ramifications for people. We see it in kids every day.


Watch people react to a mistake made by someone in a situation at work or at play. Do people react so that they can help that person in most situations that you see? Rarely!


Most of the time the reaction to the mistake is negative in nature. There seems to be a belief, or a feeling, that because someone else got something wrong it is better that it happened to them than if it happened to me.


Or in some strange way it validates the person criticizing the other person. They seem to take solace in the fact that someone is getting something wrong thus making that person feel superior.


 Are they trying to feel good about themselves by making someone else feel bad?


 You can see chronic tenseness every day when you are driving. People are so tense. And the newest “fad” not using directional signals when turning? How much effort does it take to make a short, push-down motion?


Watch when some hears a loud noise or is “spooked” by someone. The reaction is more of a release of pent-up tension that has been building up over time than it is to the actual event.


Why is that?


My next blog will answer that question.

Follow VJ @VJJStanley on twitter, frozen shorts on face book, email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or buy a copy of his book, Stop the Tsunami in Youth Sports in paperback or E reader from his website!